


Find your way

by anassa_anemou



Category: Original Work
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Magic, Minor Character Death, Religion, Worldbuilding, Worldbuilding: Hidden Magical Comunities (Original Work) - Freeform, Worldbuilding: Literature about Soulmates (Original Work) - Freeform, hints of polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 13:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10387905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anassa_anemou/pseuds/anassa_anemou
Summary: At the very core of the island is said there is a door to the Unknown, a place where the Great Power permeates each nook and cranny, and where the powerful rulers of Arctoria hear the answers to the plagues of the Kingdom, to their own success as rulers and to their personal paths in live. Today, not many people remember, but our great-fathers used to tell the story of the Crossing: the ritual all heirs must face.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sumi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumi/gifts).



_“At the very core of the island is said there is a door to the Unknown, a place where the Great Power permeates each nook and cranny, and where the powerful rulers of Arctoria hear the answers to the plagues of the Kingdom, to their own success as rulers and to their personal paths in live. Today, not many people remember, but our great-fathers used to tell the story of the Crossing: the ritual all heirs must face, the night before their crowing, if only they have the courage to pass the red door.”  
The Secrets of Arctoria, by Arcto, the Blue._

 

The sun crosses earth to the end of it’s course and Arctoria loses the last rosy-gold rays of sunshine, welcoming the night to it’s amidst. The Big House is quiet, the lights aren’t lit and the wind makes the windows rattle. Little Arcturus is asleep and his mother is long gone, dead and waiting for the pyre. Alba looks at the candle and sighs. She is a priestess and they put her to look after the child.

The heir he is, but she never wished to take care of any child - she renounced the whims of the womb and devoted her life as a follower of the Unknowns. When Dekali, queen of the bears, finally rests and her ashes remain spread in the lake, Alba will ask for a reassignment. For now she will look for the child and chant for the spirit of the queen, she, who may come to guide her people to the end of time, as she did alive.

***

Arcturus sits by the window, eyes trained at the sea, the book he should be reading resting in his lap. The Big House is always full of people: the priests, the guards, Alba and her moods, the people coming to ask him for counsel, his teachers and the variety of travelers looking for a roof to rest. The sea is green and shiny and Arcturus wishes he could be outside, walking at the shore, his feet wet with cold water. 

But he is the next king, and as king his duty comes before his leisure, as Alba rants at him as he pretends to be asleep in bed. from the sun is starting to rise, until the black night comes, he is still locked into duties, and he wishes to stay awake for a few more moments, to read or to observe the stars, to do anything other than study. 

“I suppose the sea is reading the book and in the sashy of his waves telling it to you?” Alba says from his back and Arcturus goes back to reading, eyes never leaving the sea beyond, and not giving attention to his foster mother.

 

_“Do not forget the dangers beyond the island! Not many have returned when they moved outside of the boundaries of the Golden Shield. The Highest Priest is the member of Arctoria responsible to teach each heir how to open and how to close the Breach to the other side, without this secret, Arctoria is sealed from the outside world. It is important to note that in the ruling of the Bear linage, the Breach was only open to bring in help after the great seaquake; centuries back and only magical beings were allowed to reach our shore.”  
The Secrets of Arctoria, by Arcto, the Blue._

Not for the first time Arcturus thinks of the life beyond the Shield, of the rumors told at the open market of people that don’t use magic and have their own mysterious ways to generate food, light, clothes, and knowledge. He is days from the crowning ceremony, when he will receive his circlet and the Knowledge of the Four Doors. 

Closing the book he returns it back to the shelve and goes to the kitchen. He had a light meal in the morning and now he turns to storeroom to make a fresh drink and have a heartier meal, with the sun at peak. As a child he liked meat in abundance, but as he grew Liezel and Alba taught him to have lighter meals, as to not feel heavy while trying to meditate.

In the pan he throws butter, cardamon, garlic and mushrooms he picked in his morning walk, then small tomatoes e a assortment of leaves Alba has in the cold box, and some salted water to season and boil. As it cooks, he grabs a small bread and the cold water, squeezing lemon and putting some mint leaves - he will take tea later, the day is much hot for not to indulge in some fresh water. 

Arcturus sits with his food at the central food preparation table and devours it with gusto. It will be hours before he has the opportunity to eat again, perhaps only tea at nighttime, so he will enjoy it. Alba is not in the kitchen and he sighs in happiness, he wants to eat without having her harping at his head about the rest of his day and all the preparation needed for the crowing. 

“Liezel told me to take you to Ulla, he says your training with him is done.” Alba appears and while Arcturus would like to frown at her, he keeps his face clean and only nods at her, speeding his eating and turning to wash pan, plate and cup.

“Will I see Liezel before the crowing or is he to accompany the others beyond the Breach?” Arcturus could go with them, but if Ulla wants him, he won’t even ask, since he won’t be granted parting anyway.

“He didn’t say. You will be busy for the next days, Ulla wants you at the forest with her, so go take your bag and met me outside.” Alba nods too at him and moves outside, without looking back.

Alba is not warm, but Arcturus thinks he can see some emotion in her voice when she has to give him to Ulla. All children go to the forest and stay with Ulla before they are declared adults. Is in the High Priestess domain that many will find the path to follow as they leave their genitors house and start a new life. Arcturus will too leave the Big House, and will only be in it for the counsels and reunions, or when a honorable guest is in need of company. 

As he gets his bag from the room he shares with Alba, he remembers his foster mother never wanted him, or the life she has lived in the last seventeen years. Taken from the priestess, she would have become High Priestess instead of Ulla, if only the counsel had not decided to put her at the Big House with Dekali’s heir. 

“Come.” Alba moved in front of him as they left the house and started to follow the old path to the forest. 

Ulla’s house was half an hour away from the Big House, on the top of a tree. Arcturus could see it in his mind eye, tight vines and tin bamboo, made a large platform, held by three of the oldest trees of the florest. Part of it without a ceiling, from where the vine stairs took it to the floor. Two floors, a bedroom in the first, for Ulla and her guest and the second one her altar. 

Ulla greeted them silently, hand raised in the air in the gesture of the eye - thumb and index finger united, the other fingers raised. Alba also inclined her body in a bow and turned to leave; Arcturus surprised himself when she touched her forehead to his and in a breath blessed him.

When Alba wasn’t in sight anymore, Ulla mentioned him to give her his bag, throwing it up as for her to keep at the house and she, agile, got down to meet him. Ulla wasn’t old, her hair was still all black and her eyes fiercely grey, and her skin was still lush, like Alba, she sported a tanned skin, from communing in the forest, as all the priests did. 

“Before we go up, I wanted to speak with you. Let's seat and I will give you some rules for your stay at the Forest House.” Ulla guided him to trunk closer to them and seated at the floor, making Arcturus sit as well. “I know you are used to prepping your food and helping tidy the Big House, but here you will focus in your teachings. One of the novices will bring food and clean, when we are not at the house. I know Alba has you in a modest diet, but with me you will only have access to fresh water, fruits and nuts, to be eaten in morning and after the sun goes down. Make your morning meditation, after eating, and then I’ll meet you down here for the day. ”

Arcturus nods and waits for Ulla to speak again, but she just nods and goes back to the house. He sees her going to the second floor and he stays where he is, eyes closing to think. He has this free day and tomorrow they will start his training for the crowning ceremony, he must put his thoughts in place, or tomorrow he will disappoint Ulla with an unruly mind. Turning his mind to inside, he starts leaving the outside crumble around him and the blackness to embrace him.


	2. Chapter 2

This peace of forest is not like the others - is the thought Arcturus has while he waits for Ulla. The forest is not big, but here, at the heart of it, it is like he is deep in a forest of kilometers. Ulla’s house is a spec in vastitude that awaits him. 

“Close your eyes, little bear brother and come with me.” Ulla’s voice comes in the wind and Arcturus closes his eyes without seeing her. “See the black, the empty, and come.”

Her voice is profound, low and steady and Arcturus follows her lead. 

“Breath profoundly, seek refugee and come with me.” His lungs fill with air and he follows her. “The light comes in the black, it transforms the map and you come with me.”

Arcturus eyes explode with light and he follows, mind leaving the forest, all sound stops and he can’t feel the earth beneath. 

“Come with me.”

“Come with me.”

“Through the door and come outside of the door, to stand once again where you are. Come with me.”

He passes the door and then he stands looking at the door and Ulla’s voice ceasses. He is back to where he started and he feels the earth beneath him again, the sound of the forest come straight to his ears - the birds chirp, the wind moves the leaves, the animals run in the forest and Ulla’s hands move from their rest to touch the altar. 

She never left the altar room, as he never left the forest floor. It is night and he opens his eyes, the first day of his training is gone, it is time to feed and sleep. Tomorrow he will go, and never leave and Ulla will take him through the path, without never following him anywhere.

***

Pineapple and berries, fresh and cold grace his lips, and he drinks the whole jar of fresh water. He goes down to the forest floor, ready for the second day. Arcturus doesn’t know how he got to the house of found a place to rest beside Ulla, but he woke up with the sun. Before sitting in the middle of the clearing, he goes beyond the tree line and uses the small facility for his needs, washes his face with the cold water in the bucket and removes his clothes. He trades them for a tunic, grey and old, but clean and leaves the rest at the hook, he thinks one of the novices will wash them.

Back at the clearing he sits and Ulla’s voice brings him back at the door. He crosses it again, and back at it’s front he is, but this time Ulla doesn’t say anything more and he decides to cross to the door. In his mind's eye, he can see she is yellow, and when he crosses and is back to her front she is blue. He crosses again and the door is red, then at the next crossing, she is black. 

Ulla’s voice is held in one syllable, he can’t hear, and he can. His mind eye vibrates and he goes back to the door. He crosses it, and again. Another thousand times and he is back at the door again. Ulla’s voice deepens and goes away, and she is back at the altar, touching it, and the forest floor is again beneath him.

When he opens his eyes, his arms are marked, yellow, blue, red and black, rectangles in both arms, the first two in the right and the other in the left. One dot in each wrist, green. Arcturus tries to look around, but the forest doesn’t seem to be there, even when he can hear them. 

Is morning again and getting up from Ulla’s side, he touches her hair, dark against the linen and he hears the forest pulse outside.

***

Days pass, and Arcturus goes to the door, crosses and is back again in front of her. His arms gain markings, black, white, that come and go and Ulla’s voice resonates with the forest. Until he opens his eyes, looking at the door and the forest is no more, the door is no more and he is at the Big House, seeing Alba asleep. 

He sees her at his birth, young and smiling, eyes round with happiness as his mother kisses her mouth. He sees her holding him when his mother was death, eyes round with tears and chant in her mouth, wishing the queen was at her side. He hears her voice, calling him, when he tries to run to the sea and he feels her touch, forehead to forehead, as she said goodbye at Ulla’s house. 

He sees Dekali, his mother round with child, her face clear, one hand in Alba’s hand and one in Eldric, his father. Sees her as a kid, with a flower crown in her head, two small dolls in her hand, a boy and a girl, and her vision of one day finding them. 

The red door opens and Arcturus is crowned, his mother circlet with the moon at his head, and just beyond figures, ones he can see, but earns to reach. He is back, to Ulla’s side, her hair black against the linen and the door, red, is open, waiting him to cross or not to cross, as he waits to open the other doors.

It’s the sixth day and Ulla speaks quietly, in the night, this time with her voice from her throat and not her mind.

“Tomorrow you go back to Liezel and ask him about the doors, I’ll wait for you.” 

At the seventh day, Arcturus wakes and goes to Liezel’s hut, Ulla’s eyes looking inside of him and it’s like some sort of spell is broken and Arcturus is his own again. Body, mind, spirit back to Arctoria once again.


	3. Chapter 3

As all singles, Liezel lives in a small hut, where his altar and bed are in the same room. He shares with the others a communal kitchen and a facility, at the center of the Moon district. Having been outside of the Breach, where he found his soulmate, Liezel is part of the counsel, having been elected by his district when he came back to Arctoria.

Arcturus meets him at one of the small tables used for teaching, far from the tables for food; he sit with his back to the huts. Liezel seems to be waiting for him, eyes semi closed and posture relaxed.

“You are back, I take you broke the first seal?” Liezel nods for him to seat and Arcturus does so. 

“I opened the red door.” Liezel nods and puts his hair back, today it is loose, falling to his back. 

“There are some things not written in books, not because they shouldn’t, but because we decided to initiate them, master to student, in a manner to strengthen our relationships, to pass feeling, more than words. You’ve read a lot in the years I taught you, we discussed soulmates and the teaching you would only have as you passed over being a child to an adult. The four doors and their seals are a knowledge passed over at the Crossing, in your case at a double ceremony, with the Crowning aspects present. I’m now allowed to tell you and show, after the first seal is broken, and as the High Priestess agreed.”

Arcturus doesn’t ask the questions that start to pop into his mind, Liezel’s mouth forms a smile, no doubt knowing his student has to exert all his control to maintain himself quiet and wait for his master to speak.

“In the books, when they speak of the doors, specially the red, they mentioned it as if it was a place. Many tales talk of the red door because it seems easier, people want to find lovers, to share a life with another, to procreate, but you will see that the doors don’t have only one meaning or serve just one purpose. Each door it is and it isn’t, as you already saw. As you are part of the world, the doors are too, but to reach them there is a path to be taken.” Liezel stops and reaches to hold his hand. 

He then resumes, voice quiet.

“Many can be only one taught, others might have experiences with one and another door, some in depth, other fleeting, never being able to find them again consciously. We leave such teaching to the priests and priestess in the temple and to the rulers in a structured way, but anyone can make use of this path.”

Liezel draws a line with chalk at the table and puts an identical dot on each side. Then he erases the line and lets the chalk rest at the table. 

“Both of these individuals may find the doors, one has the teachings and the other none. If the one that has none, decides to find them, he will seek them, at the temple or on their own, when he does, any one of us with the knowledge will teach them. ” 

“I read the books, but I didn’t seek the knowledge.” Arcturus responds and Liezel laughs. 

“You read the books, the ones that all island has access, not only at the Big House and the Temple, but, as you are to be king, there was always a place and a time for you to be taught, others see signs all over the island, not being busy with politics, languages, and having Alba ruling their time with an iron fist; their mothers tell them the stories, legends and chants and they pass time at the temple, serving, all of their lives, seeing the markings.” 

Liezel shows his arms and Arcturus sees the same marks he has now in his own.

“Some people pretend not to see, other don’t believe in soulmates and many don’t want to study the arts when they can find good lovers anyway , or even, if in luck, their soulmates. Your mother, knew of the doors, had the markings but decided never to look and yet she was happy with Alba and Eldric. It is the way of the people, they will decide if they want or not to know. Many people don’t want to follow the path of the Temple, and they think that a good dose of respect about the Unknowns is sufficient, and distract themselves with other things. ”

“I...” Arcturus thinks he wanted to know about the Breach, and how to get to the other side, how to travel in the sea as his father and to go beyond, not about soulmates.

“Always wanted to see the other world, to go beyond the Breach. It is the doors that take you there, it is the doors that take you to the rest of our texts and to the knowledge all over kingdom has accumulated through the eons, it is the doors that take you to the Unknown and to a place where all suffering is no more and the eternal happiness is achieved.” 

Arcturus stays silent, his mind in need to organize all of this information. In his mind’s eye, he sees Ulla with one hand waiting for him and Liezel at his side, book in hand. The blue door opens and Arcturus is back at the clearing - He never left!

“There are two doors to find, rest and tomorrow you will learn more.” Ulla’s voice is quiet as Liezel was and Arcturus sleeps.

***

There is something calling and Arcturus turns his head to the voices. He can see clearly his mother greeting someone at the port, hands reaching to a woman’s elbows, in a hold, as the blond woman hold hers. The Breach should be open, because no boat can come near Arctoria if the Shield is up.

The blond woman has beautiful hair, shining gold in the sun, but she turns and Arcturus can see her face: she is old, so old he can’t decide her age. Dekali, his mother, turns too and they both use the circlet in their head, the thin crown, with the moon at the frontal center of one’s forehead and bear seated regally at the crescent. In his mind he hears the strange woman’s name: Kali. 

Kali ruled for almost eighty years, and was his grandmother. She ruled until she was found dead, in her altar room, and Dekali passed her crowing, being of age, as soon as the funerary rites were done. The two woman smile at him and turn into light and Arcturus runs to meet them, but when is almost reaching them, a warm light greets him, and he can see the sea in it’s entirety just in front of him and beyond lands he has never seen.

There are twin doors, black borders against a radiant yellow light and Arcturus falls to his knees. The Breach is a portal behind the Shield his ancestors created to protect themselves when men from other Lands wanted to invade and take the island. He sees now that the Breach is also the path the conscience of all Arctoria crosses to reach the Unknown and their reign of absolute. 

He opens his eyes and Ulla is holding his circlet, arranging it in his head and her face trembles, losing focus. Arcturus sees Dekali, Kali, and the rulers beyond time, he sees loved ones that no longer walk the island and men and women he never met, all around him, making the forest exploding with so many beings. 

There is something else, someone he can not reach and he desires to flee and jump, to open the door and seek them, but he is pulled back; Ulla just in front of him, and he can hear his people approaching, and he receives their embrace, the kisses in the cheeks of the older women and the shattering back pats of the men. He is crowned, but what does it mean? He is king to a people that rule itself, that live in peace and were the conflict is very fleeting. What is there to do?

He reached the end of his teachings, he won’t live at his home no more, Alba will go back to the Temple and Liezel will take another student. Now what? Where should he go? 

He does not know and the Breach, one he wanted so badly to know, calls him. To death or beyond he does not know.


	4. Chapter 4

As king, two things change, one, he gets a little house, near the sea, something he chosen and, two, time to think. No one seeks him when he is by the sea or at the house; he sets time everyday to be at the Big House and talk to everyone that needs his attentions and he has set days for the counsel, but the rest of his days and nights, he can spend just him and the sea.

Alba is reclused, something Arcturus isn’t sure if she will ever get out of it, not when he always knew she only left for the love of his mother and in her memory took care of him, now she has fulfilled her task, and with the Coronation done she can turn her attention back at herself. She isn’t needed, and still he misses her face, and the smell of her hair, lavender and camomile and something just her. Now he has no mother, no family and a kingdom.

He sits in silence and let’s his eyes look at the sea, the shiny sun making the water glitter and splash vividly. It is a beautiful sight. In the next breath he turns into himself and holds the book that is just beyond one of the doors, the blue one, where all the knowledge rests.

_“Many rulers never used the power of the doors, many believed in trusting their own instincts or their natural magic. Arctoria uses magic to power many daily activities: light in the darkness of the night, keeping food cold and ever fresh, to make clothes (from taking wool from the sheep to making the fabric and beyond the garments), to clean and to plant._

_The doors seem a last resource to war, before the High Priestess Lenora put the Breach in place, to seek weapons and war knowlead beyond our shores. The common people use the doors at the rituals of death and rebirth, and in rare occasions to find one’s soulmate. Mysterious uses come from the temple and the life lead to keep the Unknowns beings happy._

_This historian believes the red door fell in disuse after Kali’s ruling, where the queen decided to make the festivals at each full moon and make mandatory the appearing of youngsters in mating age. Such practice made fortuitous coupling, one’s that generate offspring without the need of relationships and the possibility for, in many encounters in such a relaxed manner, the decision to share a family hut, raising a family together._

_As a result, Arctoria has become much insulated, and therefore, little of the people wishes to go beyond the Breach; it would be very different if they thought being in the island, cut them from ever meeting their beloveds.  
Doors beyond here - Zoer & Patlik”_

His grandmother used a good strategy to make people stay: people had food, were protected from wars, had a always green florest, never affected by plague or bad weather, all the magic to seek comfort and a wealth that was always shared. They might go outside for a few tools, or trinkets, to have news if war would come again or not, but they didn’t need the outside world.

Arcturus desperately wanted to be there, but the counsel would not grant him passage, not for another year. And even then, they might wish to keep him here, to gain more experience, to learn more of the books he now had access, to plan the next years of his reign.

He closes his eyes and goes back to the house. Sleep, then eat, than it’s a counsel day and then it starts all over again.

***

An then it changes.

There is something at the beach, on the other side of the island from his house and he goes before anyone stops him from seeing with his own eyes. It’s a boy, washed to the beach, by the sea waves, breathing still, sleeping. And Arcturus touches his face, blood pulsing in his veins and the boy opens his eyes.

“Hey.” Black eyes greet him and Arcturus falls to his ass, arms searing in pain, the door marks changing.

“Hey, stranger.” He greets back with a grin.

The Breach gave him someone from the other side.

Maybe now he can go look, not because he only has the pull to the outside, but maybe for someone to show him what is out there.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully this will bring you some joy, and thank you for embarking with me in this journey.


End file.
